Unforeseen Consequences

I found ANOTHER Scrubs inconsistency! How is this POSSIBLE?

Season 1, episode 8:

Ted: Sir, I’ve been the hospital’s legal counsel for…well, let’s just say, when I started, I had hair.

Season 4, episode 19:

Ted: I lost my hair in eighth grade.

So either Ted was massively precocious (doubtful) or the writers FELL DOWN ON THE JOB. AGAIN.

I should note that I only abuse Scrubs like this because I love it so much.

So there’s a new show on. It’s called Scrubs: Med School (SMS).

You have to consider SMS as coincidentally having the same name and a few of the same cast members as Scrubs. While Scrubs the original lost its purpose in its later seasons, degenerating into a set of episodes that had no particular raison d’être, one good thing about SMS is that it’s a chance to throw all that shit away and start over with a fresh premise. Consequently, it will take a little while for the new show to find its stride, and that’s OK. Hopefully the writers (and actors) can learn lessons from the trajectory of Scrubs, avoid a few mistakes and shortcut a few learning curves.

Thematically, SMS is almost a prequel to Scrubs. Scrubs started with its main characters just starting their internships; SMS is starting with its main characters just starting med school. This means that if SMS survives for four seasons (kinda doubtful), it will have come full circle, back to the beginning of Scrubs. That could be an external barrier that forces SMS to quit before it goes all funky in old age like Scrubs did.

The biggest problem I can see right now is the main character, Lucy. Halfway through the first episode I’d forgotten her name. (To be fair, I often do this with new TV shows.) Her voiceover narration doesn’t work. She’s overacting a bit. This is to be expected since she’s still trying to find her character. (Zach Braff (who was also an unknown when he was cast in Scrubs) didn’t have this problem.) Most concerning of all, though, is that we’ve been through this character before. A struggling, nervous, easily flustered, deeply insecure girl with rampant emotions and an occasionally detrimental (but ultimately successful) need to prove herself? Sound familiar? Yes, I’m afraid this character is going to end up being Elliot redux.

The good news is that all of the other new characters (including Denise) have immense potential for both comedy and drama. I’ve already noted Denise’s potential in Season 8 posts. She can obviously be hilarious, and I sense that her personality is set up for some possibly excellent dramatic storylines. There’s a great danger that these can be overdone, of course, but for some reason I’m confident. Cole (the toolish privileged kid) is hilarious already. One of the first two episodes’ best bits was the interplay between him and Denise. I kept waiting for her to punch his face out the back of his head. I still think that’ll happen eventually. But the interaction of two extremely stubborn people just bouncing off each other produces a lot of good comedy for cheap.

Number One (I honestly don’t know his name) is the most interesting. Funny at times (like his tendency to say “whore” when upset), he also seems like he has the potential for the best dramatic stories. Emotionally damaged, shady past, apparently naturally talented, and constantly being watched by the Eye of Cox. Amidst all this it looks like he has a deeply buried sensitive side too. He’s a great contrast to JD as Cox’s protégé.

In fact, the new characters are working out so well that when the show commits some egregious wretchedness like the opening scene of the premiere, it hurts all the more. Braff is back to being the New JD of Scrubs seasons 4-7. It’s awful when he’s trying to be funny. He’s OK in his more serious moments like when he’s dealing with Lucy. The comedy, though — the thing that bothers me about New JD is his extreme childishness. It’s even more abrasive now because SMS is supposed to be set a fair length of time after Scrubs — JD and Turk are teaching in med school, JD at some point married Elliot and made a baby in her. In short, he should have grown up since the end of Scrubs, and he’s done the opposite. He’s even back to being ridiculously needy with regard to Dr. Cox. He’s not a permanent character here, though, so it’ll be OK.

Now into the random notes section.

Humor based on accents is very offensive to my inner linguist. Those scenes with the Aussie med student actually made me feel uncomfortable. That better go out the window and right quick too.

The second episode was noticeably better than the first. It had fewer grating moments of failed comedy, it gave Lucy a true growth moment and just generally felt like a more cohesive unit. The premiere felt surprisingly scattered, like a series of unrelated scenes. Here I allow the use of my It’s Just the Pilot Rule, since, as stated before, SMS is a new show.

The new title sequence is appropriate, and I hope they don’t revert to the Scrubs title sequence. It’s a new show, new setting, new characters, so it should have a new title sequence. I’m not actually very fond of it, but I’m glad they made it.

I’ll definitely keep watching. After all these years with Scrubs (even though, as stated before, this is a new show), how could I not? It has unexpectedly large amounts of potential. But I will continue to be critical.

I found another one! Go me!

Season 1, episode 15:

JD: [makes fifth mark on "Girls I've Slept With" tally] Good thing you came along. I’ve been stuck on four since med school.

Season 2, episode 10:

Cox: It’s not like I’m gonna sit here, and count up all the women I’ve ever slept with…

Turk: Twelve.

JD: Nine.

Now I realize that this isn’t a priori an inconsistency since the number could conceivably have changed in the interim. But, given the events of Scrubs between those episodes, it did not. JD did not get any between Elliot in season 1 and Elliot in season 2.

I dunno, maybe “girls” and “women” count separately in Scrubs-universe.

Now the pièce de résistance: “I’ve been stuck on four since med school” is inaccurate too, since JD slept with Jordan in season 1 episode 6, at which point he was not in med school.

BOO YA

This is just a quick post before tonight’s finale. And I swear I’m working on a “Chuck” post; it’s just really long. And sometime in the next week there’s going to be an immensely long post covering all the Scrubs that has ever been.

While this episode’s Janitor subplot didn’t involve the Janitor actually doing anything, it did give us one of the more fantastic Janitor moments of all time: when he answers “Yes?” to Jordan in that insane tone of voice with a Sun Chip in his eye. Of course there was also his rant to the kid at the beginning. “Would you be willing to change the location of your eyes…to here?” I just don’t understand how one person is capable of making this kind of stuff up on the spot. At least Neil Flynn has a bright future in improv comedy after Scrubs is over.

There was another fart joke: “Dr. Mantoots”. I don’t know why the writers’ brains have regressed to seventh-grade level, but I am certainly not one to complain. There were more JD/Turk gay jokes. Although that storyline took a turn for the serious at the end, they kept it immature by having JD’s pants around his ankles the entire time.

Gooch and her extremely oddly-proportioned head were back. So was Denise, who was great as usual. “I just wanted to do something I know I could do right, like bangin’ a dude.” No random guest stars from the past this episode, but the finale should be loaded with them, from what I hear.

This episode’s primary dramatic concerns reflect the theme of season 8 as a whole. The characters’ lives as they know them are coming to an end. Certainly the future holds tons of possibilities for all of them, but they are a story for another time, another place. “Scrubs” has followed these people from the beginning of the beginning of their careers to the end of the beginning. The rest will be interesting, but “Scrubs” has told its part, and we’re watching the characters make the transition into the next part. There could have been more of this theme in the rest of the season, but I guess they didn’t want to beat it into the ground. You can bet the finale will beat it into the ground, though. But that’s OK. It’s the series finale; that’s what it’s supposed to do.

42 total minutes of Scrubs remain. I hope they’re good ones. So far this last season has done the rest of the show justice, but it all comes down to tonight.

ABC in talks to renew Scrubs

Guys, seriously. I love Scrubs, but its time has come. Just let it go out with a good last season, and then leave it alone.

I really like Scott Foley, I have to admit. I haven’t been pleased with any of Elliot’s boyfriends since Sean. He’s just such a perfect mix of random quirks and oddities, especially as Elliot’s significant other. He and JD have always had good comic rapport as two mildly insane competitors for Elliot’s affections.

I suppose it makes sense that a show in its last season would bring back some favorite guest stars from the past, and Scott Foley is pretty much the best possible choice, other than, of course, Tom Cavanagh as Dan Dorian. I think I remember reading some rumors of a Tom Cavanagh appearance on the interwebs, but of course you shouldn’t believe things you read on the interwebs. I do have to take this moment to say: both of these guest stars, as excellent as they are, do not hold a candle to the best Scrubs guest star of all time: Brendan Fraser. Unfortunately, his character’s dead so a return isn’t really an option other than in flashbacks (or possibly “Sixth Sense”-style dead-man-walking à la “My Screw Up”). Foley and Cavanagh are more than good enough for me.

You know what? I really miss season 3 right now. In fact:

Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took a midnight train goin’ anywhere

Just a city boy
Born and raised in south Detroit
He took a midnight train goin’ anywhere

…

STREET LIGHT
PEOPLE
WO OH OHHHHHHHHH

I suppose I should explain myself. Here’s my explanation: Journey is the shit.

Seriously now, I thought this episode was great. Full of comic moments, one excellent guest star and one pretty good one (Elizabeth Banks, who for whatever reason has been appearing in a lot of dumb comedy movies these past few years), and an interesting plot twist at the end. Sean and JD still had their rapport, with their disputes over saying “good” and yogurt. Their conversations could have come straight out of season 3. The ongoing “wiener cuz” joke was pretty good too.

Despite the fact that it was entirely later-seasons-style, I laughed uproariously at Elliot and Kim’s conversation on the ramp. “Who’s In There?” “What’s In There?” “Mister Peep Tries On Hats”?? Where in the hell did they come up with things like that? “Mister Peep Tries On Hats”?? Seriously??

No JD/Turk gay jokes this week, unfortunately, but just a bit of JD thinking Sean is beautiful. I kind of wish they’d brought up the “full-lipped” joke from season 3 episode 20. And yes, I did know that without looking it up, although I did go back to confirm.

Leaving aside the implausibility of Turk being named chief of surgery at the hospital (he’s only been an attending for three years, for Christ’s sake; where did all the other surgeons older than him go?), I liked that subplot because it continued Cox’s evolution into a kinder, gentler person. It also gave Carla a bit of a role to play (remember how I said she doesn’t get much to do anymore? Yeah, this is about the extent of it).

Kelso also had some great moments treating himself and browbeating interns. (Although, where’s Denise? I think she and Kelso could make some great comedy.) And it was nice to have Kelso in the hospital (and very strange to see him as a patient) instead of just being Norm from “Cheers” in the coffee shop. For some reason, his walk through the ICU with the back of his gown open has taken on a “legendary Scrubs moment” status in my mind even though it really wasn’t. It was hilarious of course (including Mickhead taking a picture on his cellphone in the background — subtle background antics are a sign of Scrubs in its better days), but not legendary.

I think there’s like an hour total of Scrubs left. I’m honestly going to be sad when it’s over.

Good episode.

Thankfully, Bill Lawrence did not ruin everything. In fact, he was pretty darn good. The setting really helped — it wouldn’t have worked nearly as well if he’d been in a Sacred Heart episode. The fact that they’re in the Bahamas for a mostly-ridiculous wedding fits a lot better with his character.

They have not laid off the Turk/JD gay jokes, which I of course appreciate to no end. “Elliot, I love you more than Turk.” They played that one perfectly.

All in all, this episode reminded me a lot of those episodes in seasons 2 and 3, where everyone’s having some kind of problem and they’re all oddly parallel and tied together by JD’s narration, right down to the acoustic guitar music at the end. (I particularly remember this kind of thing happening in season 3 because there were two episodes that concluded with music by Tammany Hall NYC, who I suddenly started liking a lot recently.)

Carla was a lot better in this episode. (Except: where did her pregnancy go? Obviously you can’t fake being pregnant in a bikini, but it was kind of jarring.) Unfortunately Elliot didn’t do so well, probably in part because she was supposed to be annoying the whole time. She was good in the final scene, though, recognizing the significance of JD loving her more than he loves Turk.

One surprise standout in this episode was Lady. She’s been head and shoulders above most of the random guests on Scrubs, and is an especially good foil for the Janitor (who had more of a dramatic role in this episode than comedic, if that’s even conceivable).

They managed to stretch out the mermaid joke (which has been around since season 3 episode 22) in hilarious fashion, culminating in Turk attempting to speak in mermaid language. Usually this kind of joke-stretching falls flat, but I’m glad this one didn’t since it’s an extension of what was a really good throwaway gag from an early season.

I’m still not convinced that Everybody Goes On Vacation episodes are a good idea, but at least this one was a step in the right direction from last week.

A look at the Internet reveals that the season will conclude with an hour-long two-episode finale: episodes 18 and 19. This means: 80 total minutes of Scrubs remain. I really hope they’re mostly good ones.

Come on, Scrubs. Get it together.

I’m pretty sure “Everybody Goes On Vacation” episodes are considered about a 99% certain shark jump. A show this close to the end of its life can’t really jump the shark, but still, not a good sign. This entire episode felt like it was plucked out of the later half of season 6.

I did enjoy the nod to season 1 episode 14: this episode is, in terms of seasons, the seven-year anniversary of JD and Elliot’s first kiss. And I enjoyed that they cranked the JD/Turk gayness several notches past overdrive. And thankfully, they could afford to pay the entire A-cast, as well as the two major B-cast members, Ted and Todd.

Apart from that, there was very little in this episode that I liked. Even the Janitor had only one marginally hilarious rant. Mike Schwartz was back, pretending he’s an actor when he’s very obviously not. Zach Braff was swanning around with no shirt for way too long. Sarah Chalke sang, and even though the badness of it was supposed to be a joke it was still just awful. Lame jokes were stretched out for far too long, like “I’m talking mostly to these two tables here” — Good God, did anybody watch that before they aired it? This is an unholy combination: a show with a lighthearted, bombastic comedy style that ends up coming across like the British “The Office”. It hurt. A lot.

What else? This was a very low point for Carla. What I see going on is that the situation Carla is in has pushed her into territory where Judy Reyes doesn’t have a good grasp on the character anymore. Reyes has always been unmatched among the cast in her ability to play dramatic, emotional moments well (only John C. McGinley comes close), and she played early-seasons Carla — the stable, no-nonsense one — to perfection too. But post-motherhood Carla is very different, and Reyes is apparently trying to play her somewhere between her two strong points. I really don’t think that’s where the character is, though. The problem hasn’t been all that apparent lately because Carla’s role is largely diminished, unfortunately, but I’ve been thinking this for a while.

This was also a low point for Elliot. Once again, two different stages of the character are coming into conflict. This episode brought back very early Elliot’s neuroses, but she reacts to her neuroses being triggered like the later-seasons, less neurotic Elliot does. Her reaction to being handed towels by a redhead was rather uncomfortably overwrought. I think early-seasons Elliot would have reacted by just making her eyes impossibly large, which was something of a trademark of hers back then. She broke her own Rule by talking to someone while pooing. She created ridiculous unnecessary drama in her relationship (once again, I understand this has to happen for plot purposes, but it still felt wrong). And, most disturbingly, they teetered on the edge of eating-disorder territory with Elliot starving herself to look good in a bathing suit, and tried repeatedly to extract humor from it.

Nothing made me laugh except the JD/Turk gay jokes and “they got brothers on the money”. But the rest — aimless and tone-deaf, and still smacking of sloppy writing, acting and editing. I mean, it may have sounded like I didn’t like the previous episode but I did; I was laughing for most of it and never felt uncomfortable. This one made me feel uncomfortable for a lot of reasons. I hope this is the low point of the season. I want Scrubs to go out with a bang, not a thpppt. The rest of the season has been pretty good by the standards of S6 and S7; don’t drop the ball now, guys. You’re in the home stretch. (I apologize for the mixed metaphor.)

One development next week that I await with slight trepidation: the trailer showed Bill Lawrence playing the priest who marries the Janitor and Lady. And while Bill Lawrence is one of the most excellent people in all of TV (though I have to say Josh Schwartz probably holds the title right now), I really don’t like it when people on the crew of a show get speaking roles. Mike Schwartz is a good example of why I don’t. Hopefully Bill Lawrence will not be another.

Jesus, what a sad state of affairs. Not only could they not afford Zach Braff for this episode, but they couldn’t afford John C. McGinley, Ken Jenkins, Judy Reyes OR Neil Flynn? Is this credit crunch-related or is it just Scrubs being pressed for attention as usual?

There is some good news. First is that the intern-related plots on this episode are exactly what I was referring to in my last Scrubs post. The interns’ world is progressing as the old hands (all TWO OF THEM in this episode) observe. And the interns are turning out to be their own distinct characters, not just (entirely) clones of the main characters. And the way the interns’ separate world is being handled is exactly how I envisioned it in an ideal world.

Second is that there was an entire subplot about farting. An ordinary TV critic would probably look down their nose at that while giggling on the inside, but I make no bones about the fact that I have the mind of a seventh grader, so I giggled on the outside. Unfortunately it fell flat at the end, but I’m just happy in a very immature sort of way that they actually made an entire subplot about farting.

My gut feeling, and immediate reaction, was that the comedy was lame. This is odd, because I can point to a lot of moments that made me laugh: Katie putting a satellite dish on the homeless guy, the homeless guy saying “Pass”, the “hivy” dance, Turk’s rant at the beginning about Disneyland, Turk’s rant about women farting… So I’m not completely sure why the comedy felt so lame.

I can pick out a couple of reasons, though. First and foremost, there was no Janitor, and really, there’s not much you can do without the Janitor. Second, too much of it had that rambling, aimless quality that marred the second half of season 4, occasional parts of season 5 and most of season 6. There’ll be a lame setup for a lame joke that ends with a mostly impotent punchline, and it all feels like a waste of time. I refer here specifically to the joke about the guy and the tongue in the hazmat bin. Some of it smacked of poor writing, directing or editing. There were a lot of Scrubs-laugh-track-substitute musical stings that felt clumsy and ill-timed, and a lot of shots that felt pointless and out-of-place.

The conversation between Elliot and Turk at the end had me rolling my eyes. This is a common complaint for TV shows, but here it is again: people don’t talk like that. They were talking like self-help books. I realize now that that was the writers not knowing what to do without JD’s voiceover narration. And, while there was an excuse for avoiding voiceover narration, it was an opportunity to have other characters analyze themselves, since JD doesn’t often do that. So I suppose in some sense it was interesting, but it was pretty poorly executed.

I got very concerned when, during that conversation, they mentioned Elliot and Turk getting together. I realize that they’re going to have to artificially throw some kind of wrench in the JD-Elliot works before the end of the season, but the thought of using Turk to do so might just keep me awake at night.

Then there’s the episode-ending (and uncomfortably emo) revelation that Elliot doesn’t see herself continuing to be a doctor. You’d have to be blind not to see the setup for a drastic life change for Elliot towards the end of the season, even if they completely ignore it next episode (which I have little doubt they will). I’m not sure what the specific nature of that change might be (what would she do instead?) but it’s good they’re making an attempt at justifying it, almost early enough for it not to feel like a convenient season-ending plot contrivance. It did involve a “crazy long oner”, to borrow Bill Lawrence’s phrase: an extremely long single shot. It’s hard to top season 1, episode 19 (from opening to title sequence, over two minutes, is one continuous shot — watching it is a little nerve-wracking for me) but I do like that style.

Whatever the reason, it’s unfortunate that Scrubs’ last season has to be hamstrung by money. And it really goes to show how important Zach Braff is to the show. If this is Bill Lawrence’s way of test-driving Scrubs without Braff, then I hope he realizes it’s not going to work out. Sarah Chalke and Donald Faison were barely able to give any cohesion to this episode, so if all of the main actors are gone, there’s little hope. Granted, without all the main actors there’s a chance for a fresh start, but they’d have to anoint a new JD-like main character, and I don’t see a clear candidate among the interns. They test-drove some voiceover narration from the interns last week, but it’s hard to say how that went. It felt like it always has on Scrubs when there’s a guest narrator — wrong.

So we’re at episode 13. I assume the season is going to be 22 episodes long, meaning there are nine episodes left. This means there are just over three total hours of Scrubs left in its entire run. Knowing that makes the lame-joke time-wasteage and the budget-induced actor shortage even more painful because I can feel the precious remaining minutes of Scrubs ticking away.

I sure used a lot of hyphenated words in this post, huh?

I know I haven’t been doing much writing about Scrubs lately. It’s because this is the middle of the last season, and right now the writers are primarily killing time until the end of the season when all the important stuff will be wrapped up, and it shows. There aren’t a lot of new things to do. This episode was about interns and their foibles, but I seem to remember a lot of very similar plots in season 5. Last week’s episode was just a few random self-contained subplots living in the same episode.

I’m rather pleased with what they’re doing with the Janitor. I’m tempted to think it’s a result of the little budgetary issue wherein the producers apparently can’t afford to pay all of the lead actors all the time, so in each episode one of them is conspicuously absent, or present for only one scene, or present only as a voice over a phone. The result of this is that it opens up more space for Janitor plots, and there were some good ones this week. The way he effortlessly handles messing with three new interns as well as JD (and presumably others, off-camera) just makes it more clear that he is the true ruler of the hospital.

So on to the more pressing issue: the new interns. I like that the writers are starting to give them their own actual personalities, instead of just grab bags of random quirks, which is what tended to happen in seasons 5+ with interns (except ones central to plots, like Keith). Best of all, they have their own ridiculous dramas, like the one with Katie and that guy in the elevator. The overall impression is that in the background of the main characters’ lives, a new little season 1-type world is developing among the new interns. It’s a charming little tableau. So while the main characters are going about their mildly interesting plotlines, the new interns embroil themselves in their own little shenanigans like making out in an elevator, squaring off against the Janitor, etc. It’s like a world within a world, except the inner world is also a throwback to early Scrubs. The more I think about it, the more I like it.

The problem, of course, is that there isn’t a whole lot the writers can make out of this phenomenon. The whole point is that it’s a backdrop. It can’t take primacy or it’ll ruin the whole thing. I don’t know if the writers can be bothered to keep it up for the sake of old fans like me who are probably the only ones who like it. Oh well.

This leads me to discussion of a theory that has been advanced on the Internet. Once you look at it as season-1-within-season-8, and combine it with the knowledge that the lead actors won’t stay on for another season, you can’t help but suspect that this might be a set-up for a continuation or spinoff after season 8 ends. I can say out of hand that I really don’t like that idea. First of all, they seem to be setting up the interns to parallel the main characters, and where are you going to go with a spinoff like that? What is there to say with those characters that’s new? Wouldn’t it just be a rehash of old seasons? Second, if such a continuation/spinoff is set in Sacred Heart, there’d be the obvious problem of explaining where all the main characters went, but there’d also be the issue that it would just seem wrong not to have them there. It would be like staying in high school an extra year after all your classmates have graduated.

And, oh, shall we talk about horrendous self-referential vignettes? Because there was a surfeit. First of all, the pimp fantasy. This hurt me physically to watch. The pimp fantasy, of season 2 episode 19 (yes I remember that without looking it up), is one of the greatest in the history of Scrubs. (In fact, that episode came as part of a streak of 4 episodes with some of the greatest fantasies ever: pimps, 99 Luftballons, the Rerun Dance, and Candy Man.) Everything about it was perfect. And here, they messed it all up. Everything good about the original was gone. Then there was Elliot’s “told you so dance”. This is from season 1, episode 16 (also remembered that without looking it up). The original was good because it was brief. This one was anything but. It was dragged out and out and out until it was painful. It could have worked if Elliot just did the dance for a few seconds (just by herself) and then they immediately cut to another scene.

Self-reference is a very difficult thing to do. Do it right and it’s hilarious, a great reward for old fans with sharp eyes and long memories. Do it wrong and it’s a joke fallen flat, confusing for people who don’t get it and not funny or clever to people who do.

I thought season 8 had found old-season fantasy style again, but it turns out they haven’t really. The biggest problem seems to be that they call attention to fantasies too much. It’s like they’re waving and pointing and yelling “look! They’re daydreaming! It’s funny!” I think this is part of why fantasies are so unnecessarily long lately. They’re trying to make sure everyone notices. But we notice even if they’re short.

My last complaint: the black surgical intern. First, he came out of nowhere and apparently we’re supposed to accept him as one of the main intern characters this season, when we as yet have very little idea what his deal is. Second, what kind of intern has the balls (or stupidity, or whatever) to chew out a table full of his superiors? Third, his lines are terrible. It sounds like he’s reading out CliffsNotes about the show.

Most of the interns suffer from the usual short-term recurring-character problem of being poorly written and acted (Derek most of all), but the exception this season is Denise, played by Eliza Coupe. In a very short time at the beginning of the season she turned out to be an original, multifaceted character, and Coupe plays her adroitly. The way she fits into the hospital is, in its basics, the way Elliot would have fit in as an intern with her current personality. It’s fascinating to watch. She’s by turns a reflection of some of Elliot’s character traits and a counterpoint to JD’s wishy-washy emotionality. I don’t know how she’ll fit into the overall tying-up of the show, but I hope she gets some not-insignificant recognition.